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This may* be the last of the True Work-Life Harmony series so let's end it with a bang shall we? In this installment of the True Work-Life Harmony blog series, I want to take a step back and not only get a holistic view but a very clear one of what it means to exist firmly in true work-life harmony. In our last TWLH Pt II article, we doubled down on common reasons why this phenomenon can be so difficult to achieve. While understanding the hurdles and implementing harmonizing components in your daily schedule as shared in TWLH Pt I are most certainly getting you on the right track, let's extract and expand on an often overlooked but incredibly essential element of True Work-Life Harmony, reflecting.
As you may know, reflecting is the first step of our Keep It R.E.A.L. method here at
SenterME to process your emotions and access optimal emotional wellness. Living emotionally well is the most effective stress management support mechanism for promoting work-life harmony. Some benefits of emotional wellness (because it would take the entirety of this blog to list them all) are:
Mood stability
Self-awareness
Improved mental & physical health
Resiliency
Clarity/Mindfulness
Security
Enhanced Relationships
Enhanced Academic & Professional Performance
Greater Daily Fulfillment
I literally have to resist the urge to keep going because emotional wellness is my JAM!
Why is reflecting so important? I always say, to know how to get where you are going, you have to know where you are. Reflecting is the tool we use to always know exactly where we are emotionally so that we can create a pathway to a more secure emotional state. Emotions are one-sided and super restrictive when it comes to vision (awareness). Ever heard someone say 'Love is blind'?
Well, it is completely unrelated to the point I am making as it speaks to the unconditional nature of love but let's just say the saying went 'Emotions have tunnel vision' aka peripheral vision loss. Doesn't roll off the tongue quite as well but what this means is, that when we experience intense, difficult, or uncomfortable emotions, this energy stimulates thoughts, that shape beliefs, and drive behaviors that support the one perspective of the emotion(s) we're experiencing.
This is why it can be difficult for someone experiencing depression to feel motivated or optimistic as these are perspectives that do not align with depressive thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. Reflecting gives us an opportunity to see ourselves clearer and open our perspectives to the many possible pathways that align with our highest good.
Reflecting also helps us to fine-tune our self-awareness becoming more attuned with our internal environment and better helps us regulate the flow of energy within and through us. Imagine becoming so aware of yourself that you know exactly what thoughts are associated with emotions you're experiencing enabling you to remain the awareness of these thoughts rather than adopting them as your identity. Game-changer.
By building your reflection muscle with daily and weekly reflective practices, you strengthen your awareness of yourself to the degree of recognizing when emotions you experience are not your own. You read that right.
As humans, our ability to empathize opens a portal that can sometimes allow the emotions of others to transfer into our internal space (transference of energy). This doesn't make empathy a bad thing, it's quite beautiful and natural.
This is all the more reason why we must practice reflecting to anchor ourselves in our own emotional state so that we are empowered by recognizing when an emotion doesn't belong to us and better able to serve those in need of us as a safe space. Suppose you are a doctor, supervisor, therapist,
educator, or act in a consulting capacity on a regular basis. In that case, you may have taught yourself to compartmentalize or suppress your empathetic abilities to get through the day but this only causes more stress on you physically and mentally.
Empathy encourages a regular flow of emotional energy between two people or a collective keeping it from getting trapped in the body. Again, it is a natural and healthy process among humans. Reflecting keeps us grounded in the present and aware of our needs, triggers, and patterns. With this level of self-awareness, you are better able to pick up on imbalance and cognitive dissonance to position yourself for true work-life harmony.
How do you reflect? Intentional reflection takes patience. It requires the feeling of safety (security) and a nonthreatening, nonjudgmental environment supports this. Trusting yourself and embracing your emotions is the first step. This is noticing yourself. Leaning into our emotions is a healthy response to them and gives you a chance to reflect (explore) yourself.
The next step is to ask yourself Purpose Questions. Purpose Questions support intentional and effective reflecting because they help us to expand our perspective relieving us of tunnel vision and inviting clarity which ushers us with care into the next step. Some examples of Purpose Questions are:
What emotion(s) am I experiencing?
Why am I resisting this emotion/what am I fearful of?
What am I being confronted with? And what do I need to decide?
Is this emotion in control or am I?
Is this emotion triggered by a thought or current situation?
Uncover unmet needs and challenge threatened beliefs. We are meeting ourselves where we are. When we explore ourselves in this way we can see the bigger picture and arrive at realizations such as 'I'm not angry, I'm hungry.' or 'It's not that they never help, I never ask for help.'
The last step is to embrace these new perspectives and realizations no matter how misaligned they are with your emotionally driven thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. This is not as easy as it sounds but with practice, you will grow in self-compassion and willingness to Keep It R.E.A.L.
Reflecting is the x-ray vision we all wanted as kids (or maybe it was just me). When we can see our internal and external environment for what it truly is, removing the tunnel vision, we are better able to harmonize the two allowing true work-life harmony to emerge.
At SenterME, we are dedicated to empowering women professionals to prioritize emotional wellness and stress relief, elevating their success and daily fulfillment to new heights. Join our community by subscribing to our weekly newsletter and staying up to date on upcoming events and the highly anticipated launch of our immersive adaptive learning community platform which will allow you to achieve emotional wellness and stress management success on your own terms with a tribe of like-minded women who are standing in their divine worthiness.
Remember wellness is your birthright, and self-love is true freedom.
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