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First and foremost, there are levels to harmony. You may achieve harmony in one area of your life, in a particular season, or on a certain day while struggling to maintain harmony in another. That is completely normal. But true work-life harmony can be your normal too. I have found that it is best to not face harmony head-on but rather target areas of your life that require harmony one at a time because harmony isn't an easy undertaking.
In fact, harmony is the first thing to go, and with it, its benefits and value when in survivor mode. Truth of the matter is, when we do not experience true work-life harmony it is because we are in survivor mode. There are many faces of survivor mode and when most of us see/hear this term we immediately think of 'financial struggle/hardship' but that's not the only way survivor mode presents itself.
To experience survivor mode is to be under the impression that your life is threatened in some way shape or form.
This could be your social life, your material life, the life that comes with a title, your home life, or your romantic life. Survivor mode is fast-paced and consumes disproportionate amounts of energy. It weakens your vision, causes selective hearing, and is driven by fear. It is essential to know these characteristics because when we recognize them in our own lives we are empowered with the opportunity to expand in self-awareness and choose that which aligns with our highest good.
So what is 'true work-life harmony' anyway? I'm glad you asked😌 True work-life harmony at its core is acceptance, it is self-advocacy, it is setting, enforcing, and maintaining boundaries, it is taking it slow, it is going with the flow, it is doing your very best to enjoy yourself. As easy as these things may seem, they are a far cry when survivor mode is at the wheel. But implement these tips in your daily life and you will experience true work-life harmony in your life sooner than you believe.
1) Seek more opportunities in your daily life to play. At work and home, play. This can look like riddles and brain teasers for the team with silly prizes such as being King/Queen for the day. Take a nature walk during lunch without using any work-related lingo, best morning greeting contest, cheerleader awards, creative solution awards, daily awards, or best use of break award, and if you're a solopreneur engage in fun & games with your community via group chat/slack but make an effort daily to play.
At home, this could look like cooking with family and friends, my babies LOVE cooking with me, playing board games instead of watching tv, playing tag or hide & seek outside (or inside), a game of cornhole, painting, coloring, or making up stories together via text or before bed. I'm a mom so I have play ideas for days at home. Sometimes I look forward to a daily playdate with my youngins because I haven't played all day yet. Playing is what life is all about, it is about creating, imagining, and stimulating feel-good feelings. As humans we are social creatures and playing with others is good for our emotional, mental, and even physical well-being. Playing boosts confidence, resilience, problem-solving skills, and communication skills, and keeps you functional on a high level when navigating stress.
2) Rest as much as possible. Nothing replenishes the body better, relieves stress better, brings more clarity, and supports creativity, resiliency, and high performance better than rest. Now I won't bore you with the scientific evidence that proves this but if you also appreciate the formalities of science here's an article by Healthline that covers 11 effects of sleep deprivation on your body. But what I am going to do is share with you creative ways to optimize your rest.
Stretch before you get in the shower. Break out the yoga mat or blanket and gently stretch your skeletal muscles from head to toes.
Take a shower with eucalyptus and lavender hanging from the shower head or you can purchase an electric teapot and instead of making tea with it, fill it with 1L of water, a cup of eucalyptus epsom salt, and a few drops of rosemary/lavender essential oil without closing the lid so that it doesn't auto-off but generate steam the entire time you're in the shower. Just before you get out, slowly turn the water from warm to cool. This meditative shower calms the nervous system, relieves stress both mentally and physically, and properly ushers the body into its replenishment phase, sleep.
Massage the body with a thin layer of light oil or whipped butter. I use coconut oil but almond oil, and avocado oils are pretty light as well. Start from your feet and work your way up to your shoulders/neck. Take your time, and as you massage each part of your body and while doing so express gratitude for how your vessel shows up for you each and every day. This could sound like:
-I am grateful for every step
-I am grateful for resilience
-I am grateful for expression
-I am grateful for strength
-I am grateful for health
-I am grateful for flexibility
This intimate time with yourself before bed promotes appreciation of self and is a beautiful expression of celebration of self. It supports grounding which optimizes rest with an anchored mind.
Meditate while lying flat on your back in bed. The goal here is to become so in sync with the body that you feel your heartbeat in your fingers, toes, and in your breath. Inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth. As your exhale weakens you will feel your heartbeat causing breaks in the breath. This stillness and oneness calms and relaxes the entire body, you feel secure, safe, and at peace with the quiet. You may fall asleep in this position or you may experience the body release via a stretch and then fall asleep.
Starting with these two tips will surely get you closer to True Work-Life Harmony. Be sure to come next week for part II and remember, wellness is your birthright and self-love is true freedom.
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