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I remember a time in my journey when being responsible for yourself meant there was a tiny tyrant who lived rent-free in your mind. She had the loudest and most piercing voice one could ever imagine keeping you well aware of the societal, cultural, and family expectations of being responsible for yourself and the consequences if these expectations were unmet. I write a blog post every week since Aug of 2023 (with the exception of 3 weeks) and I have to say that I have never been more excited about a post than I am about this one. There couldn't be a more fitting first post of 2024. Every class, workshop, live stream, or event I facilitate, I always mention briefly or dive into the responsibility for self. In this post, I am going to expand on this concept illuminating what it truly means to be responsible for yourself and how you cultivate this sense of being on your journey.
What does it mean to be responsible for yourself?
Paying your bills, keeping a roof over your head, having a thriving career, choosing the right environment, choosing the right partner, going to regular checkups, sustaining overall independence, and staying fed (or else). Ring any bells? Some of us believe this is what being responsible for yourself means in its totality. But it is only part of it, the surface level. Let's dig a little deeper.
Responsibility comes from the Latin responsus, which means "to respond."
It can be another word for "trustworthiness," So what does it mean to be response-able for yourself? Trusting yourself with yourself and allowing this sense of trustworthiness to cultivate a healthy response to the present, your emotions, triggers, and needs (environmental, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual). Thus, keeping you in alignment with your highest good which encompasses regulating your emotions with mastery, navigating stress with unshakeable ease, and expanding constantly in self-awareness.
Responsibility for yourself is harnessing your limitless power to be the author of your own story.
Because trusting yourself is the foundation of being responsible for yourself, responsibility is constantly being curated and developed, and evolves as you do so.
What is the secret ingredient for cultivating responsibility for self?
There are two things that we must keep with us as we journey to accept responsibility for ourselves and leaning on these two facts of life ushers you into the third step of Keeping It R.E.A.L. and the secret ingredient of cultivating responsibility for yourself, acceptance.
First, accept that everything is temporary. Ever heard the saying 'Nothing lasts forever"? This couldn't be more true as it relates to your emotions, triggers, needs, and the ever-changing present moment. This empowers us to shape the responsibility for ourselves with true insight. For example, if I accept that everything is temporary, then I agree that no matter how difficult, intense, or egregious our emotions or the present may seem, it will not last forever. Our response to ourselves can now be guided with grace, self-compassion, and the powerful self-awareness to effortlessly return us to our state of wholeness.
Second, accept that everything is what it is. When we accept that everything is what it is, our vision becomes more keen on recognizing reality and grounds us in the present. It is beautiful to be able to see in yourself greatness, purpose, and true light and work towards stepping confidently in your power. It is a gift that we all share. However, when we lean heavily on potential, shoulda, woulda, and coulda without action this can be the bait that lures you away from the present losing yourself into the fantasy offered by delusion. Similarly, imposing unrealistic expectations on ourselves strips away the beauty of life that there are highs and lows, some days you won't feel like being a powerhouse, and some days it's best to stay in bed to hold space for the emotions that are weighing down on you and allow them to flow easily through you. Because accepting everything is what it is grounds you and empowers you with security, we are more likely to ask for help, embrace the full spectrum of our emotions, build healthy relationships, and sustain a safe space for ourselves.
Accepting everything is what it is secures peace and the the embrace of the unknown.
What is the first step in cultivating responsibility for myself?
As mentioned earlier, responsibility is in likeness to trustworthiness. The first step in trusting yourself with yourself is learning to create space for yourself. When people give us space to be who we are authentically, trusting them feels not just easy but even the right thing to do. So when earning trust in yourself, give yourself space to feel what you feel, and check in with yourself throughout the day to assess your needs. Doesn't it feel so good when someone anticipates your needs (i.e. gets you something to eat or offers to help on a project without you asking)? When we take the time to check in with ourselves we grow more fully in our wholeness, confidence, and self-aware learning to anticipate our needs, harmonize our internal and external environment, and leading a life of greater daily fulfillment.
Here are some examples of things you can do to cultivate responsibility for yourself daily by spending quality time with yourself and honoring that time with intention:
Write in a journal
Meditate
Taking breaks
Setting & enforcing boundaries
Exercise/Yoga
Nature sitting/walks
Everyone has a tiny tyrant living rent-free in their minds but her voice doesn't have to be loud, it could be a faint whisper that drifts into the abyss of thoughts that we don't engage with. This is responsibility for self in action. Give yourself grace. Trust yourself, the process, that everything is happening for your highest good, everything is temporary, and everything is what it is and you will develop a healthy response to the present, your emotions, triggers, and needs (environmental, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual). Thus, keeping you in alignment with your highest good which encompasses regulating your emotions with mastery, navigating stress with unshakeable ease, and expanding constantly in self-awareness.
At SenterME, we are here to help support, guide, and empower you on this journey of emotional wellness and stress relief so that you experience greater daily fulfillment, freeing authenticity, work-life harmony, and limitless personal and professional development, growth, and success! Meet us every week for a virtual gathering of like-minded women who desire the best out of their lives during our SenterME Sis! Luncheons, Keep it R.E.A.L. Journaling Jam Sessions, and Her D.R.E.A.M. Life Essentials. Learn new wellness best practices, expand your tribe, and access tips and tools that support you living in every moment of 2024 on purpose!
Remember, wellness is your birthright and self-love is true freedom.
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